Hi Kate, I've heard of the spoon energy theory in relation to chronic fatigue (which I had for 5 years). The spoons refer to physical energy, yes with some cognitive implications but that is not primarily what is being talked about. But spoons with neurodivergence it seems to be a slightly different thing. Do neurodivergent spoons refer to mental/cognitive exhaustion primarily? Or how would you describe it?
Hi Donna, I love your substack :) Yes, spoon theory was originally used for people experiencing disability or chronic illness. It's very useful for the neurodivergent community because of many people in this community need to spend their spoons carefully and understand the repercussions of overspending, repercussions that can last days or weeks (or longer if it happens all the time). I'll be diving into repercussions more in a later post.
For many neurodivergent people there is a huge interplay between the cognitive and the physical. A mentally exhausting load can mean a mental AND physical response. A physically exhausting load can also mean a mean a mental AND physical response. Exhaustion can be deep and total. Often executive function, emotional regulation, attention regulation, problem solving and more can all be impacted, as well as the physical exhaustion. But wonderfully, mental and physical things can also replenish - more on this to come too ;) I'll also look at burnout, which impacts a huge number of neurodivergent people and can come with immune system difficulties, hair loss, reduced cognitive capacity, depression, anxiety, OCD, physical fatigue...and so much more. I'm keen to look at all this with the Bible open, understanding what God has to say about it all.
Did you know that abusing low energy can lead to insomnia, depression, and a low immune system causing chronic or a viral illness? Alas, we have no choice.
yes, this is so important. It's actually dangerous physically and mentally to keep running on empty. And when the body and mind are suffering, there are fewer spoons in the draw at the start of each day and so complete depletion is even more of a risk. What advice would you give to people running on empty? Have you found helpful things that you'd recommend?
Not to do it unless you have to. Unfortunately mothers always have to, so it is useful to know that sensory and social stimulation cause insomnia, painfully inflame the lymphatic system, which weakens the immune system. But bettering those issues can be as simple as a sensory deprivation day. And to always freeze meals ahead so that when you are on empty, it is already done. 😅
Thanks for this essay - it's helpful to hear you name how neurodiverse folks have different needs and sometimes a different capacity and need to replenish in different ways. I love the image of your kids coming home for a two hour break in the middle of every school day to rest and reset! Seems like that would be so helpful. And I totally understand, from my experience parenting a neurodiverse kid, how overstimulation can be so draining.
I was familiar with spoon theory because of my husband’s 10 year journey of chronic pain but I hadn’t thought about applying it to my neurodivergent teenagers (or myself as the carer for all three) - it’s a very helpful framework and I’m thankful to you for this broader understanding of how it applies.
Thank you for the comment :) It sounds like you're well practiced in accepting and working with people's different capacities. Do you have any tips for people who are new to this?
Hi Kate, I've heard of the spoon energy theory in relation to chronic fatigue (which I had for 5 years). The spoons refer to physical energy, yes with some cognitive implications but that is not primarily what is being talked about. But spoons with neurodivergence it seems to be a slightly different thing. Do neurodivergent spoons refer to mental/cognitive exhaustion primarily? Or how would you describe it?
Hi Donna, I love your substack :) Yes, spoon theory was originally used for people experiencing disability or chronic illness. It's very useful for the neurodivergent community because of many people in this community need to spend their spoons carefully and understand the repercussions of overspending, repercussions that can last days or weeks (or longer if it happens all the time). I'll be diving into repercussions more in a later post.
For many neurodivergent people there is a huge interplay between the cognitive and the physical. A mentally exhausting load can mean a mental AND physical response. A physically exhausting load can also mean a mean a mental AND physical response. Exhaustion can be deep and total. Often executive function, emotional regulation, attention regulation, problem solving and more can all be impacted, as well as the physical exhaustion. But wonderfully, mental and physical things can also replenish - more on this to come too ;) I'll also look at burnout, which impacts a huge number of neurodivergent people and can come with immune system difficulties, hair loss, reduced cognitive capacity, depression, anxiety, OCD, physical fatigue...and so much more. I'm keen to look at all this with the Bible open, understanding what God has to say about it all.
Thanks Kate, I find your examples especially helpful as I think through how to understand my boys.
Thank you so much for letting me know. I'm so glad.
Did you know that abusing low energy can lead to insomnia, depression, and a low immune system causing chronic or a viral illness? Alas, we have no choice.
yes, this is so important. It's actually dangerous physically and mentally to keep running on empty. And when the body and mind are suffering, there are fewer spoons in the draw at the start of each day and so complete depletion is even more of a risk. What advice would you give to people running on empty? Have you found helpful things that you'd recommend?
Not to do it unless you have to. Unfortunately mothers always have to, so it is useful to know that sensory and social stimulation cause insomnia, painfully inflame the lymphatic system, which weakens the immune system. But bettering those issues can be as simple as a sensory deprivation day. And to always freeze meals ahead so that when you are on empty, it is already done. 😅
This is really great advice. Thank you!
Thanks for this essay - it's helpful to hear you name how neurodiverse folks have different needs and sometimes a different capacity and need to replenish in different ways. I love the image of your kids coming home for a two hour break in the middle of every school day to rest and reset! Seems like that would be so helpful. And I totally understand, from my experience parenting a neurodiverse kid, how overstimulation can be so draining.
Thank you for your comment 🙂 Yeah, overstimulation can be so draining!
Great piece, thanks for writing.
I was familiar with spoon theory because of my husband’s 10 year journey of chronic pain but I hadn’t thought about applying it to my neurodivergent teenagers (or myself as the carer for all three) - it’s a very helpful framework and I’m thankful to you for this broader understanding of how it applies.
Thank you for the comment :) It sounds like you're well practiced in accepting and working with people's different capacities. Do you have any tips for people who are new to this?
Thank you, I'm so glad :)