Part 2. We Are All Limited People

How should we respond to our own limitations and those of our children?

In this series of articles, we’re exploring ways to create a home environment that supports neurodivergent family members. This includes adapting the sensory environment, adjusting expectations, and modifying routines, communication styles, transitions, and other elements of family life. This is such a big topic, I’ve dedicated four articles to it.

In Part 1 (found here), we explored the significant benefits an adapted home can offer, helping neurodivergent people become more resilient as they build the capacity to face stressors outside the home.

However, these adjustments can be time-consuming and feel limiting. So, before we dive into practical tips, this article, Part 2, will remind us of an important biblical truth about our finitude and our dependable God.

Part 3 will be practical, guiding you through how to assess your home and identify which adjustments might create a more supportive, rejuvenating environment for everyone in your family.

Finally, in Part 4, we’ll explore the deep comfort we all need—true comfort from God.

Part 2—Limited people

Coming face-to-face with our own limitations or the limitations of our family members, can be difficult. The world evaluates us based on our productivity, and it’s easy for Christians to subconsciously adopt this mindset. We see other families (seemingly) floating through life, effortlessly doing the things we long to do, and we can feel like failures. We assess ourselves by our external achievements, and our internal report card tells us we’ve failed.

But is this how God sees us? How should we respond to our limitations and those of our children?

Limited people, limitless God

An important truth of the Bible is that while we are made in God’s image (Gen 1:26-27), we are not God. Sometimes we may long for superhuman abilities—both for ourselves and for our children. Perhaps we wish we could soar through life without being hindered by body, brain, time, space…or by anything. Perhaps we feel this would enable us to love others more, serve God better, or be better Christians.

But of course, that isn’t how God chose to make us. In fact, that desire to extend beyond our human limits and be limitless like God was at the heart of Adam and Eve’s rebellion against God in Genesis 3—they wanted to be like God. They wanted to be autonomous, self-reliant, limitless.

Our finitude reminds us that we were created for dependence—on God and on one another. We will be limited by body, brain, time, space and so many other factors in our selves and in our surroundings. Rather than striving for self-sufficiency, we are invited to trust God for all we need.

Photo by Hu Chen on Unsplash

Psalm 103 makes it clear that God is not surprised that we are limited—he made us! Verses 14-16 say,

For he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

The life of mortals is like grass,

they flourish like a flower of the field;

the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more.

We are limited and finite, but the Psalm also details the wonderful truth that as such, we are dependent upon the most worthy and good creator!

The Psalm is dripping with descriptors of the God we depend on. God is:

• Holy (v. 1)

• Forgiving (vv. 3–4, 10, 12)

• Compassionate (vv. 4, 8–10, 13)

• Our redeemer (v. 4)

• Loving (vv. 4, 8, 11, 17)

• Compassionate (v. 4, 8, 13)

• Giver of good things (v. 5)

• Righteous (vv. 6, 17)

• Just (v. 6)

• Communicative (v. 7)

• Slow to anger (v. 8)

• Gracious (vv. 8, 10)

• Our Creator (vv. 14–16)

• The ruler (v. 19)

• Eternal (v. 17)

• Sovereign (v. 19)

We are loved and redeemed by the limitless God! In him we have all we need—we don’t need to be without limit; able to achieve whatever we decide we should be able to do.

So how should we respond to who God is and all that he has done for us? The Psalmist calls us to fear, love, and praise God. The Psalm begins and ends with the right response: ‘Praise the Lord, my soul.’

1 Peter 2:9 echoes this right response:

‘But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.’

We are so very precious to God because we are his treasured possession (not because of anything we have done). Here again, the right response is praise. The right response isn’t measured by what the world would call ‘productivity’, but in right recognition of who God is (worthy of praise) and of who we are (made to praise God).

Made with limits

We will all encounter aspects of life that make us feel limited. We can talk to our dependable, loving, and sovereign God, we can ask for him to remove the difficulties we face, and we can absolutely trust him whether his response is a yes or a no.

As the mother of neurodivergent children, I see that my children often encounter a sense of limitedness sooner than other children their age, particularly when it comes to energy. But I don’t have to push them beyond their capacity, God can still be at work in and through them. Indeed, pushing them beyond their capability would be counter-productive.

Beth*, an AuDHDer, puts this into words beautifully. She explains that many neurodivergent people have different capacities, particularly when it comes to emotional exertion:

Trying to keep up with everyone else is like trying to keep up with competitive long-distance runners. Ignoring our body’s cues to stop and rest will lead to the body MAKING us stop, resulting in injury and an even further reduced capacity next time we try. But if we don’t understand our body’s cues that we’re reaching our limit, we just keep going until the body MAKES us stop. This could be in the form of a meltdown, panic attack, shutdown or emotional withdrawal. It could look like a tantrum, crying, screaming, shouting, physical aggression, hyperventilating, shaking, headaches/migraines, nausea or fatigue.

Hitting that point is the same as an athlete who has pushed themselves too far. They’ve crossed the threshold from stretching their limits to outright crossing them, and caused an injury. They then need a long recovery period before they can get back to where they were prior to the injury.

It’s essential to recognise and listen to these cues—and to model that for our children. In the previous article, we explored the benefits of breaking the spiral of exhaustion. Beth’s reminder is vital: pushing limits comes with consequences, both short- and long-term. (See my article on exhaustion here for more helpful input from Beth). The rest from stressors provided by an adapted home is crucial before we reach our breaking point.

Photo by Jenny Hill on Unsplash

God’s strength in our weakness

As Christians, we don’t need to fight against our limitations. High capacity for visible productivity does not equate to godliness. This doesn’t mean we become passive or lazy. Our bodies are to be offered as living sacrifices to God (Romans 12:1), using the strength he provides. If our efforts are driven by the need to build ourselves up or meet external expectations, we’ll constantly feel torn between our family's needs and the world’s demands. When pride governs our actions, our efforts are for ourselves, not for God.

However, if we want to live godly lives, faithfully serving God and those around us in love, we must first turn to God with all our limitations and rely on him for all we need.

Throughout the Bible, God used people who, by human standards, seemed more limited than others—yet his strength was seen in their weakness. Moses, an outcast and runaway who felt inadequate to speak; David, young and inexperienced in battle; Gideon, who saw himself as the weakest in his family; Ruth, a widow in a foreign land. In their weaknesses, God’s power was magnified.

I am a mother who needs to spend more time around the home than other parents with children of similar ages. I need to put more time and thought into adapting our home than many other parents do. I often have very little sleep. I am limited but God is limitless, and I depend on him. This is a great reminder for me to pray in those times when I really sense my limitedness.

Paul appealed to God about his weakness in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. God told him, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Paul sees Christ’s power in this, and says, ‘when I am weak, then I am strong.’

Adapted homes don’t deny limitations or strive to eliminate them by ignoring them. These are homes that support each member no matter their needs, relying on God’s unlimited strength. These are homes that know God is sovereign and good, call to him in prayer, and trust him to use his people as he chooses for his glory. Adapted homes may seem weak, but may our weaknesses show God’s strength!

Read Part 1 here

Read Part 3 here

Read Part 4 here

*Names have been changed